15 Craziest Celebrity Sex Myths of All Time

Or she was a dude. Or she’s part dude. At any rate at some point in time there was a penis on, in, or around her person that was belonging to her and it is no longer there. Or maybe it is. It’s hard to say. Not helping matters is that in certain bad photos she could be mistaken for the brother of Tia and Tamara with a wig on. And of course, there’s her song “Like A Boy.”

Some tool from “American Idol” claimed he did it with Paula Abdul. Paula of course denied it, but she’s lucky if she can even remember that her name is Paula, so everyone’s suspicions were raised. But then again, don’t they know she has “back problems”? She probably can’t even have sex because of excruciating pain of being so freaking high all the time. Oops. There’s a new rumor right there.

‘Who’s Clara Bow?’ you might be asking. Well, you wouldn’t be if it was 1927. She was basically the flapper version of Angelina Jolie or Megan Fox, was the original “it” girl, and reportedly blew an entire college football team simply because she could. Who doesn’t want to go to that picnic?

Supposedly Richard Gere tricked a gerbil into going someplace it certainly didn’t belong – a dark, dark love canal that smelled suspiciously like poo. Unfortunately, it’s kind of like getting a cow up a flight of stairs – you can get him up there, but turning him around and getting him back down is another issue. And so everyone found out about Mr. Gere’s fondness for little creatures when he had to have it removed by a trained professional, although there probably are no real specialists when it comes to removing rodents from body cavities.

If cramming a gerbil up your ass counts as a sex act, then surely having somebody blow cocaine into your butthole with a straw has got to count for something, as well. Of course she did it “to protect her voice” – it had nothing to do with the fact that she liked experimenting with her back door. *Side note* Do you think if she farted the guy down there would have gotten high?

Okay, maybe you’ve heard this about Rod Stewart (it would explain his raspy voice), but it’s better to pretend it’s about Britney, because that makes it so much more real, you know? The idea is that Britney Spears sucked off enough dudes to fill her stomach with about a gallon of spermies. Naturally 8 pints of semen was a bit too much for the Britster, so she has to be taken to the hospital and have her stomach pumped. Pretty sure if you had that much baby batter in your tum-tum you’d probably be drowning from the inside out, as well as having one hell of a jaw ache, but then again some people eat 50 hot dogs then follow it up with a victory lap to collect high-fives, so who can say for certain?

So what happens if David Bowie will sleep with anything that moves, and Mick Jagger will sleep with anything that moves, and they begin slowly moving toward one another? Since everybody wanted to sleep with David Bowie, and everybody else wanted to sleep with Mick Jagger, so really there are no losers in this scenario, except maybe for a pissed off ex-wife who started the rumor anyway.

Apparently the Hilton mothers don’t care if their daughters are smart or courteous to others, but it is imperative that they be good lays. This is why the mothers give their daughters explicit lessons on how to be great in bed. Subjects taught include “remembering to turn on night vision,” and “making sure you’re good and drunk.” Well, it’s gotten them this far…

Oscar De La Hoya – a big, face-punching boxer who likes to beat on people in the ring and wear fishnet bodysuits in his spare time. Naturally. He and his lawyers claim the photos are faked, but clearly it’s him – he’s wearing boxing gloves for Pete’s sake!

Hey man, innocent until proven guilty. Just because there’s a video out there that shows somebody who is clearly R. Kelly taking a leak on a 14-year old doesn’t mean he actually did it. Okay? I mean, he was acquitted. Just like O.J.

It seems like if you were a really famous band you would just be having sex with as many chicks as possible, but Led Zeppelin was so famous that they were tired of having sex with as many chicks as possible and had to resort to violating them with pieces of shark meat. Although it has recently been clarified that it was not shark meat, which is soooo tacky, but a red snapper, and that the chicks loved it.

Scarlett Johansson and Benecio Del Toro did it in an elevator at a hotel in Los Angeles. Were they listening to Aerosmith whilst humping? Inquiring minds want to know.

Fatty Arbuckle was kind of like the Danny McBride of the 1920′s, except that Danny McBride has never gotten into trouble for murdering a woman – for ramming a bottle up her crotch until it explodes – her crotch, not the bottle. Of course some would dispute this rumor as patently false, and that Fatty actually killed her just by crushing her with his massive, Fatty body. Regardless, the chick is dead, and it took three tries before Mr. Arbuckle could convince a jury he was innocent.

It sort of boggles the mind how a dude like Billy Bob Thornton could bag a lady like Angelina Jolie. Except she wasn’t always a UN Goodwill Ambassador. She was more of a leather pants, sex in limos kind of a dame, who reportedly built a sex-dungeon with her then-husband Billy Bob and would have knife-sex in it with him all night long. What’s knife sex? No idea, but apparently they were always almost killing each other. Way to go, Brad Pitt, do you see what you’ve taken from us?

It’s a common rumor: a famous celebrity has something on their body removed. Most of the time, the procedure is thought to be for weight loss purposes. In the case of Marilyn Manson, however, the rumor was that he trimmed his torso down so that he could have an easier time accessing his crotch. The official line from Marilyn was that, due to a horrific fight, his ribs were non functional. Here’s what he has going against that story – he’s Marilyn Manson. I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me he had his ribs removed so that he could beat someone to death with them. I mean, look at that face. That’s the face of a man who sucks his own c*ck.