15 Most Memorable Salesmen In Movie History

The archetype of sleazy, corrupt Wall Street players, Gordon Gekko is the man you never want sitting across from you at a brokerage firm. With his famous “Greed is good†speech, and stock manipulation via insider information, there is nothing clean about this guy – except, maybe, that he can give one hell of a presentation. Gekko is the Madoff of all movie salesmen, and that is why he tops the list. This guy could sell Enron stock to Barack Obama.

DEFINING QUOTE: “Greed is good.â€

There are two versions of Las Vegas: today’s commercialized, main-stream friendly Vegas born in the 1980s, and then there’s a Las Vegas run by the mafia, owned by the Rat Pack, and catering to a grittier clientele. This second Vegas is where Ace Rothstein thrives. The brutal head of the Tangiers Hotel, Rothstein makes it very clear that you do not want to hit the jackpot at his casino, lest you want to be hit by a hammer. Atlantic City, anyone?

DEFINING QUOTE: “Back home, they would have put me in jail for what I’m doing. Here, they’re giving me awards.â€

Learning that crime does pay (literally) from his father, young Frank puts his powerful impersonation skills to work, swindling many people out of many dollars. He transitions from PanAm pilot to doctor to attorney without blinking an eye, without ever being suspected. This kid even pretends to be President in front of the First Lady. (An interesting thought – does the First Lady fake it, too? Wink.)

DEFINING QUOTE: “Do you concur?â€

Chris Varick is every jock you hated in high school, every frat-douche who tried to beat you up at a college party. Yet, he made it to the top because he can sell anything over the phone. He has more tricks up his sleeve than Houdini and would lie to his own mother if it meant closing another sale. And when the day is done, he leaves with a big smile on his face. I love the smell of rotten ethics in the morning.

DEFINING QUOTE: “This stock is blowing up right now, the whole firm is going nuts. Hold on, let me open up the door to my office…â€

Blake is a fast-talking, hard-lined salesman who is brought in to motivate a slouching real estate firm. His plan is to turn the employees against one another by having them chase a common goal, the Glengarry leads, or lose their jobs. Blake’s alphabet runs under a different system, his ABCs are “Always Be Closingâ€. This is Jack Donaghy’s evil brother.

DEFINING QUOTE: “You want to know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes brass balls to sell real estate!â€

He’s not even a salesman, he’s a football player, and that is what makes Tidwell such a draw. In the famous “Show Me The Money!†scene, Tidwell switches the game on his sports agent Jerry Maguire and makes Maguire plead with him – he also had the Academy screaming “Show Me The Oscar!†If his moves on the field were that slick, he would never be in his penny-pinching situation to begin with.

DEFINING QUOTE: “Just want to make sure you’re ready, brother. Here it is: show me the money.â€

Car salesmen can seem as shady as mobsters, but Paul Vitti is the real deal. Straight out of Sing Sing, Vitti takes a job at a dealership to legitimize himself, but his past clearly shines through in his sales pitch: “Look at the size of that trunk. You could put three bodies in there.†Vitti is ruthless and tactless in closing a sale, but tough words are better than tough fists.

DEFINING QUOTE: “Toyota, Lexus- Japanese. Let’s not forget Pearl Harbor.â€

Lundegaard is just another used car salesman from the upper plains states, complete with “yahâ€s and “doncha-noâ€s aplenty. He lives in a middle-class home, and seems oddly naïve – and that is just what makes his character so slimy. His harmless persona gets him far. He can sweet talk you into a deal you don’t want, or he can kidnap his wife and ransom her to his father-in-law. Yep, just another Everyman.

DEFINING QUOTE: “Hiya, hon! Welcome back! How was Fargo?â€

At J.T. Marlin, they’ve got sleazy salesmen lining up around the block – in fact, smarmy is probably a job requirement. Another chief thief at this investment firm is Jim Young, a glowing kid with pockets full of cash. His philosophy on life is embracing everything you’ve ever tried to stay away from. And in the end, he is someone you would try and stay away from too.

DEFINING QUOTE: “They say money can’t buy happiness? Look at the smile on my face.â€

Leeson may not be a sleazy salesman, but what makes him so memorable is that his advertisements are no-nonsense. Take his advertisement for Jaguars: FOR MEN WHO WOULD LIKE HAND JOBS FROM BEAUTIFUL WOMEN THEY HARDLY KNOW.
Well, you’ve got to hand it to him, he’s right. Unfortunately, as with most geniuses, he is misunderstood and thrown in a mental institution. When the products he advertised start selling out, though, he’s the last man laughing – and so is the audience.

DEFINING QUOTE: “Let’s level with America!â€

Ricky Roma doesn’t let anything stand in the way of him and a sell. He’ll shout, push, and kick his way to the top, but when he’s face to face with a potential buyer, he is intense and compassionate – or so you think. This conniving salesman is always about to snap, so you better buy whatever he is selling.

DEFINING QUOTE: “You never open your mouth until you know what the shot is.â€

After these two aluminum-siding salesmen accidentally crash into one another’s car, a full-fledged war is ignited. The two will do anything to beat the other – including seducing the other man’s wife and plenty of other illegal activities. Who knew aluminum siding was such an intense industry, or such a sexy one?

DEFINING QUOTES:
Babowsky – “Hey, asshole. This is the ultimate f*ck you. I just poked your wife.â€

Tilley – “Well that’s just fine by me. She’s a pain in the ass! An albatross around my neck! You’re welcome to her. Keep her, and may you both rot in Hell!â€

Some salesmen seem to hate people so much, it’s unclear why they picked their occupation. Barry works at a record store, a place already jam-packed with pretentious employees, but he takes the cake. Nearly every customer who walks in gets a verbal bitch-slap by Barry, and their taste in music is laughed right out of the store. The IRS might want to investigate this place and let us know how they make enough money to stay open.

DEFINING QUOTE: “Do we look like the kind of store that sells ‘I Just Called to Say I Love You’? Go to the mall!â€

Tommy Callahan never asked to be a salesman, and after taking seven years to complete his undergraduate degree, no one really wanted to hire him either. But when his father dies and Tommy is forced to hit the road in order to keep business afloat, by golly he becomes a salesman. Funny thing is, he doesn’t really sell anything. So much for a “Don’t Take No For An Answer†attitude.

DEFINING QUOTE: “I got a D-plus! I’m gonna graduate!â€

Larry Mann is the ultimate “cock-blocked†salesman, and thus never gets his chance to sell to the “Big Kahunaâ€, but it’s his hilarious quips and cutting tongue that make him memorable. Also, anyone busy hustling industrial lubricant is pretty memorable in our book, especially to someone named “Big Kahuna†– penis jokes anyone?

DEFINING QUOTES: “Did you mention perhaps what line of industrial lubricants Jesus would have endorsed?â€