Depressing News Of The Week: The “Hills” Cast Are Rich

According to the Huffington Post, bitches and bitch *Spencer* of The Hills are making some serious dough!

Kristin Cavallari is reportedly making $90,000 per episode for her return to reality TV. Which is almost as much as Lauren Conrad made when she was the matriarch of the show–she made $125,000 per episode.

Audrina Patridge, Heidi Montag and Lo Bosworth all bring home $100,000 per episode.

That’s a lot of bacon!

The kicker? King Spencer Pratt brings home less than his wife! The king of douchery brings home a paltry $65,000 while Brody Jenner gets $45,000.

And that’s only what they get for doing their day jobs! Imagine appearance fees, real “acting” jobs, and Playboy appearances–Heidi brought home $375,000–and these kids are rolling in it.

There’s a joke in here somewhere, I’m just too busy crying that such dumbery makes that much money to be clever.