The Evolution of Sideburns in Movies: From Martin Van Buren to Vince Vaughn

In the age of androgynous, follicle-free celebrities, body hair and facial hair are quickly going the way of the dodo. Men are losing the very essence of what sets them apart. Body and facial hair are what give us an appearance of maturity, strength, and a general “manliness.†Since when is chest hair taboo? Not to mention back hair, the ultimate repulsor. Beards, mustaches, and mutton chops used to be the standard of male appearance, and now they have been reduced to the fancy of college English professors and pedophiles. Luckily, a resurgence of nostalgia for body and facial hair has brought the respectability of being an adult man back to a small but growing sub-sect. While chest hair and beard are easy to grow and maintain, side-burns are much more stylized.

After seeing the trailer for Vince Vaughn’s new film Couples Retreat, I was reminded of Vaughn’s groovy burns in Wedding Crashers. But disco-era sideburns are not the only type out there. Here are a few categories of the Sideburn.

1

THE ORIGINAL

The original sideburn dates back to the Civil War, and a general named Ambrose Burnsides. Burnsides was well known for his facial hair – thick, ungroomed sideburns that connected in a mustache over the mouth. Although by our definition he had a “chinless beard†and not sideburns, his name became synonymous with the hairstyle in the 19th century. But if we go back earlier, we can see the crazy stylings of our eighth President, Martin Van Buren. His sideburns were completely legitimate.

2

THE RETRO

Sideburns would continue in this vain for the remainder of the 19th century, and then go into remission during the early parts of the 20th. However, by the 1950s, there was a sudden rebirth of the sideburns, all thanks to one man: The King. While Elvis Presley’s ‘burns started less ambitious in films such as Jailhouse Rock, by the time he hit 1969’s Change of Habit the sideburns were back, baby, and in a big way.

3

THE COUNTER-CULTURE

Though he started it, by the mid-1960s, sideburns had taken on a life of their own, independent from The King. Hippies and youth of the counter-culture started wearing their hair long and not trimming their sideburns as a sign of rebellion. Looking at the movies of the time, we see this as evident in Peter Fonda’s Easy Rider. Dustin Hoffman’s clean-cut Ben Braddock had some sideburn action in The Graduate, and even the Sundance Kid had them. Yes, the ‘60s were a swinging time, and a good era for the ‘burns. Mike Myers displays them proudly in his love-song character to the era: Austin Powers.

4

THE GOLDEN SUAVE

With the seeming ubiquity of sideburns by the end of the Sixties, the style entered a new decade at the height of its power, and lived in a golden age of sexy-cool and suave appeal known as the ‘70s. The sideburns may have been scaled back, but there was certainly no shortage of them. James Caan sports a “Sexburn†in Rollerball, to say nothing of John Travolta’s ambiguously-gay-‘burns in Staying Alive. Another bad-ass motha’ with killer 1970s sideburns was Richard Roundtree’s Shaft.

6

THE ORTHODOX

In the film collective Paris, Je T’aime, Elijah Wood rocks sideburns which resemble that of a young Hasidic child growing his “payos.â€

7

THE CRASH-N-BURN

Vince Vaughn’s sported a pair of old-school sideburns in the film Wedding Crashers, proving once more that sideburns and sex are intimately linked.

8

THE BEAST

X-Men has given us several memorable sideburns, but the two most inspirational were those of Wolverine and Saber-tooth. Together, these ‘burns are as scary and deadly as the mutants who sport them. Their sheer surface area is enough to intimidate any lesser man.

9

THE CLASSIC

However, a certain category of the ‘burn has emerged as the once and future king of Sideburndia. He is the classic and eternal styling of the sideburn, and is created organically from a mix of laziness and pure testosterone. His appearance is subtly blended into the scruff leftover on a man’s face, and flows perfectly with the mess atop his head. This classic look can be seen recently on Sean William Scott’s face in Role Models, or on Eric Bana in The Time Traveler’s Wife.

If anything, I hope this affirmation of the Sideburn will do much to strengthen its foothold in society, and open up the thrill of the look to men across the globe. That may be too lofty a wish, but the scruffied, follicle-filled comeback of body hair is definitely a good thing. So throw those razors away and embrace your hair wherever it may grow…yeah, accept there.