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VIDEO: Check Out The Other “Artists” On Rebecca Black’s “Record Label,” Ark Music Factory

Friday, March 18, 2011 2:35 PM
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****Rebecca Black has released as acoustic version of the worst song of all time, “Friday,” or as we’ve taken to calling it, “Black Friday.” Check out the new video here!****

In case you were wondering how Rebecca Black managed to get a song as awful as “Friday†produced and recorded and turned into a music video, which you probably were if you have functioning ears and a brain, the (sort of) singer quite graciously laid all the cards out on the table.

Black told The Daily Beast about her journey from spoiled Orange County teenager to the Internet’s Public Enemy #1. So how did she get a record deal? It turns out she paid for it, which begs the question, does she feel ripped off?  

Ark Music Factory, the “vanity label†that released the video onto YouTube, really is a factory, and their product is horribly bland, embarrassingly bad pop songs sung by teenage girls whose parents have cash to spare.  After auditioning for Ark, Black’s parents paid $2,000 dollars to have them produce a song and make a music video for their daughter.  We’ve all seen the results.  But Rebecca’s not the only one who’s paid to make something that will haunt her for the rest of her life.

We trolled the Ark Music Factory YouTube page to see what other soul-crushing pop music they’ve churned out. While Black definitely takes the prize for their worst “artist,” the other “singers” on the label sound just as depressingly bad.

So if you’re in a masochistic mood, check them out for yourself:

“Without Your Love†has Britt Rutter involved in a very complicated “FaceSpace†video chat relationship with a boy.  Oh and she lip syncs her own echo and does some Bollywood style dancing in a meadow too.  

Maybe Abby Victor’s parents didn’t want to throw down that much money for her track, “Crush on You,†because it takes place mostly in a candle-lit recording studio, then, inexplicably, a clothing store. The whole thing ends with a nice and innocent pillow fight.  Oh, and have we mentioned yet that all of these songs seem to have the same black guy rapping the bridge?  It’s like they listened to every cheesy house song from 1999 and were like “We want to make this, only without the hard drugs necessary to make it tolerable.â€

As for Sarah Maugaotega’s effort, “Take It Easy,†we’re pretty sure that it used to be an Ace of Base song.

Let’s hope they don’t all become smash hits, because there’s only room for so many quasi-talented teens singing terrible pop songs on the charts.  There’s like 100 spots.  After that, it’s full.