Shia enjoys the simple pleasures in life: a stroll through the city, a cigarette, and masturbating in public.
Remember Daphne Zuniga? Josie Bissett? Thomas Calabro? No? Well you’re mom probably does, and she can watch them all on a special episode of “Melrose Place” and be reminded how crappy 90’s television was.
Time to pull the troops out of Afghanistan and have them guard Heidi’s vagina. This is serious, people!
Somebody went a little crazy with the Garnier Fructis Curl Scrunch Gel, but the dress is nice.
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She doesn’t have time to drink anymore – she has to stay focused on not tipping over if the wind catches her back.
At least for the day anyway.
I had a dream Benjamin Franklin was giving me a back rub – is there some way I can make money off that?
Sooo…three more crappy albums with her present band before she breaks off, records another stinker, then does something really awesome before being relegated to Sony commercials? Sounds reasonable enough.
Um, that came out all wrong. There’s no lesbian stuff involved in this at all.
